The Mystery: Revealed

If character training is a primary goal of parenting, and I believe it is, then the best way to instill character is through the behavior of a father. Identification with him is a far more efficient teacher than lecturing, scolding, punishing, bribing, and guilt trips. Boys watch their dads closely, noting every minor detail of behavior and values. Sons imitate much of what their fathers do. If you blow up regularly and insult your wife, your boys will treat their mothers and other females disrespectfully. If you drink too much, your kids will be at risk for substance abuse. If you are fighting with people all the time, your boys will probably follow your example. If you are selfish or mean or angry, you will see those characteristics displayed in them. 

Fortunately, the opposite is also true. If you are honest, trustworthy, caring, loving, self-disciplined, and love God, your boys will be influenced by those traits as they age. If you are deeply committed to Jesus Christ and live by biblical principals, your children will probably follow in your footsteps. 

That is the profound influence that fathers have on their kids and precisely why Paul, in this next passage, writes to fathers and not parents in general. 

Colossians 3:20-21 “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. (One of my other favorite verses, second only to wives submit to your husbands.) Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”

We don’t just embitter our children by the things we do to them, but by the things we do over all. 

How might your behavior embitter your children? What have you done wrong? What can you do to correct it? What proper behavior have you modeled for you kids?